


Ang(EL)

by Burning_up_inside



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Child Abuse, Drugs, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Extremely Underage, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Max can't drive don't let her fool you, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other worldly, Party, Past Child Abuse, Puppy Love, Running Away, Saving the World, Underage Drinking, Underage Sex, child prostitution, mafia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-25
Updated: 2018-01-25
Packaged: 2019-03-09 09:08:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13478235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Burning_up_inside/pseuds/Burning_up_inside
Summary: I keep holding El, and silently we migrate so that everyone is holding each other and this way everyone can feel the pain in silent solace and its wonderful and terrible and I want to go home, but it's all too late. Its always been too late."I miss will." Mike says with thick pain in his voice. No one responds because we all do. We all do.We all do.________________________________________________She's a mystery, all blonde hair and brown eyes. Long legs and eyes unfocused but aware. Soft, seductive words tumble out and around her. She's covered in a mist of allure but she looks so young. They are young and stupid and looking for a thrill so they kind of accidentally save a girl who doesn't know she needs saving.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hEAVilY inspired by htgawm, it's pretty Canon compliant but it's set in the present around August 2017 UHm. There's gonna be alot of fucked up shit. El is truly the baddest bitch ever. She doesn't have powers in this one I think not sure yet.

Dustin  
3 hours after the incident

 

 

It started with a party, though that seemed like a long time ago, there at the party there was a mass of sweaty bodies touching and caressing and swerving around each other with girls in little dresses and guys with roaming hands and unforgiving red cups that hid small secrets of harsh alcohol and lipsticks and old kisses and other things. 

Some people were there trying to forget, some to make it big, others to just have fun. Back at that party we were kids trying to fit in. Little southern Indiana kids with no way to tell up from down. Now we are criminals. I don't remember exactly when the titles started to change. I don't really wanna know when the title started to change.

We'd set out on an adventure seeking a thrill to soothe the summer because school approached quickly like the prick of tears in the back of your eye on a very windy day.

It was very windy now. The sky threatened rain. The sky was a deep blue color rolling with large purple clouds albeit the evening that came quickly, darkness surrounded us.

It seemed cold although that might have just been my thoughts warming me up taking me back to a place I'd called home which also seems like a long time ago it's to have been nothing more than a week maybe two and then I'd feel myself rip back into reality and thick frost would coat me although all the time I'd known it was there, the cold, just less.

I breathed slow in the frosty air and watched the white smoke puff out my lips, listless and afraid. I murmured softly to myself. Eyes blurry with worry. A shiver played across my skin, chill bumps layered like a coat.

I watched the tarp, the blue tarp that sat in front of us seratting us from our childhood, setting up our adulthood to be bled through by nightmares. It hit me suddenly that I was turning 14 next week and for the life of me I couldn't get it to matter, we'd already lost one of the party. We'd already lost. I was crying but I didn't mean to. Everything felt too surreal to be true. Too hurtful to burn.

It just wasn't supposed to end this way. It wasn't supposed to start either. I dont even remember why were here. I mean I do. Very clearly in fact but I don't remember why it was supposed to turn out like this. I don't remember.

It's hard to picture us like this, frazzled and dirty and covered in blood, some more than others.

We sat in a diamond far enough apart that no one could touch eachother. It was somewhat of a ludicrous diamond Mike, Lucas, el and me. Stupid and incomplete. We were gathered by a tunnel of sorts. It was to the right of us, to the right of the body, somewhat seemed to be the right thing. The tunnel was more of a big opening it opened up towards a small lake, maybe a pond, there was some type of bridge that stood over it, I leaned against a tree standing up, pacing slightly cause anxiety ran like drugs in my veins, also cause the floor was a bit damp.

Mike sat across from me so I could almost see in his face, watch as he stopped himself from crying, tracks already lined his face. Ashy and sacred, I could see him pulling at his hair with his elbows propped up on his knees as he crouched down on his ankles almost like he was praying. He'd a background of dark trees and eerie light that dripped in from the city. He looked like a beautiful painting. Haunting but beautiful.

Lucas stood silently by the tunnel, he had a very solemn expression, you almost didn't see unless you strained over the dark, his back was against it, the tunnel, he had his foot propped up against the shifty gravel. He had his hands deep in his pockets he looked at the ground most of the time but then he would shift and bounce his neck on his shoulders as if trying to shake something off. He had a large thing of gasoline by his feet and he kept on rattling it with his leg, the slight slosh of the liquid against the container being the only sound made in the air.

It was an disarming silence. Of course you heard the quiet chirps of the animals the hollow echoing of the trees, but it was quiet almost holding its breath in with us, with the body.

I held my arm as I walked back and forth it hurt so bad. It pierced and throbbed, it leaked blood into a dirty cloth, actually it was just the cut was fresh and hurtful. I started to think about what we would say. How could we explain this to anyone. The looks on their faces. I wanted to know how we could come home. 

I watch blindingly my eyes were crossing so sick with terror that I almost couldn't breathe. The more I paced, the more I thought and slowly I was starting to freak out. I was delirious. 

Nobody said a word, not a person complained, it barely seemed like anyone breathed, but I could feel it. The reality of what'd we'd done, everybody could so everyone was quiet in the dark. Every one of us hoping to god we did the right thing, because we couldn't go on it back now. 

I caught eyes with Mike, for a second we stared, catching the fear in each others eyes. He looked down his head was low with shame and he kept staring at his hands they were covered in blood, they were broken and bruised and some blood dripped down the front of him. He looked like a little kid, terrified. It trailed down his skin softly, the blood. He didn't wipe it. Nobody payed attention to their bruises, we didn't deserve to. 

I watched el as she sat curled up to tree not crying not moving, she stared blankly at the body. Almost undeterred. We didn't forget about el not at all. She was the one who wanted the quiet she said it was time to pay respects. She said to wait. It wasn't time. I almost raved put on a entire fit, ready to scream we've gotta go we can't just hang out with a dead body. I didn't though because this wasn't my call to make. So here we were, in the dark of thick of the forest. Paying respects to a dead man...

"Burn it." A sort of whisper came from El after a couple of silent minutes. She pushed the words past her lips almost like she hasn't said it. Without a hint of any type of soft emotion. We didn't react right away we almost didn't believe the words.

I couldn't see her very well. The light of the city not really touching over the woods that housed us. She seemed a shadow of a person, a ghost of something that had been. It was dark. I could almost feel the hatred in her voice. She was shaking, I could hear leaves rustling by her direction.

"Burn the fucking bastard." She said harshly almost screaming. A forceful upheaval of noises, reverberated around us as she tore her self apart. Admitting a wistful defeat, she was broken and she let it out. For a while she'd kept it in. 

She seemed to be crying. A tear fell from my cheek, forcefully as I closed my eyes with her scream I bit into my lip to stop from sobbing. I saw Mike's head drop, he held the earth on his shoulders I could see the slope of his body dipping as he let the weight crush him. 

I heard Lucas jostle up with the slosh of the gasoline against the plastic container. I squinted in his direction. Hot tears forced down my face.

"Burn him." The slight of sob hidden in her throat. She said it weakly horribly. I felt the tears on her face and I couldn't even see her. I started to walk over to her. My arm pulsing with every move I made. Moving quickly I sat next to her, joining her on the wet ground, letting the burn of blood that lit in my arm remind her what I was here for. I wrapped my body in her's. Holding onto her keeping her together. Trying to forget the pain.

I wanted her to stay whole. She didn't deserve to be broken like me, she was an angel. Ruined by life's whims, ripped in half by thing she couldn't control. I held her as she shook in my arms harsh tears flowing down my face. She didn't say a word as sobs racked her body. She just rocked with me back and forth.

The dark of night blanketed us keeping us safe from ourselves, momentary choices that brought us here with a dead body covered in tarp and Lucas's shaking hands sloshing gasoline over it, the tarp. I can feel my hands twitching. They won't stop shaking. I protected el, we all did. We had to be right with god because she's an angel. You always save the angel. This had to be okay because there was no other choice. This had to be okay because I'd die if they took us away. We had to be okay because we are all we have. 

 

Mike looked around as Lucas dribbled out the last of the gasoline. He pulled himself out of his squatting position. The illusion of his likeness to a painting gone. He watched our faces nodding expecting one back. Lucas stepped back almost tripping. He looked aloof, almost above this. I was straining my eyes looking at them over the putrid light. The lights of the city. I held el in my arms. Mike stepped around eyeing the body, the ends of our lives with a sense of pride and pain. I mouthed at him 'do it' he nodded, a swift motion almost making a sound because of the silent of this place.

He pulled the book of matches from his pocket, an honest motion that looked sincere instead of braced with fear. The familiar logo, a dragon breathing fire running shivers up my back. I almost started crying again but I was being strong for someone, our angel. El.

He struck a match, the harsh sound echoing around us. The small light glowing up, lighting up the dark. Showing us our faces only slightly, barely. It showed, bruises and marks. Calloused hands. Blood. Guilt. Terror.

Mike put the match inside the book and the rippling sound of fire igniting matches thickens us. A grim sort of look clouds Mike's face. Its hard and almost unforgiving. The moon looms over the wood with gentle ferocity and glows to remind. Reminding me of something but I keep forgetting. Reminding. 

"Bastard." Mike grunts, a harsh mutter under his breath.

He drops the book of matches while the fire creeps up along it. A harsh sort of sound erupts before the body goes up in flames.

We watch and smell and listen to the sound of the body burning. 

All of our eyes alight with fire and hatred and I'm almost regretful but not for his death but that he got to live and regretful for my fear. 

I keep holding El, and silently we migrate so that everyone is holding each other and this way everyone can feel the pain in silent solace and its wonderful and terrible and I want to go home, but it's all too late. Its always been too late. 

"I miss will." Mike says with thick pain in his voice. No one responds because we all do. We all do.

We all do.


	2. Comfortable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've rewritten this like seven times and I still don't like it but whatever I'll try 2 update by Thursday but lmao I have school and life and everything so who knows.
> 
> Also who says monthly uploads of filler bullshit isn't amazing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't rlly know how to induce the feeling that this is in the present because even if they have phones and access they still in fucking indiana so??.

Lucas

14 days before the incident.

I hate the muggy air that you drown in during August in Hawkins. Even if the streets are similar and the houses that stay big and impending year round stare down at me, every tree with leaves I could name at this point. Even when I'm sure that I'm used to it, the haughty fucking wave of nausea and sweat that I get shrouded in makes the bleary town just that much more bleary.

So I regret quietly not riding my bike to Mike's. When I was home it made so much sense to walk because riding my bike would only make me hotter(honestly though could I get any hotter). I mope my entire quarter of a mile to Mike's house, feeling stupid and sweaty when I text Mike to open the door and to bring a fan.

Mike just pulls the door open and I have to run to catch it before it closes, I get smacked with air conditioning and I almost groan. God fucking bless interior temperature regulation. Mike's house is the best kind of comfortable. It's comfortable like assimilation, comfortable like remembering. It's the feeling of familiarity that comes and holds and it's good. It's good.

"When's Dustin coming, did he call you?." I ask while we pass Holly walking around in the living room so we can get to the basement. Mike only shrugs and I almost start to ask what's wrong with him. Though now we're on the stairs and I can't remember why it matters. I sink into the couch while Mike slumps into his desk chair. 

Its weirdly humid in the basement and my brow line sweats, I stare into the daze of dust that travels along the ground in here. I glance around. Just glance to reminisce where I grew up. It's obsessively the same, messy like someone tried to clean and gave up. The carpet is the same musty orange, the table wiggles without anyone touching it these days because I body slammed Mike into it last summer. He bitched about that for weeks. I laugh a little to myself and Mike looks up to me from his slumped head and his gaze is questioning and I shake my head and the silence is thick again but comfortable and breathable enough to make sure there's no struggle.

It's always comfortable, always. No struggle. Thick and humid but livable. Comfortable. Sometime I think I want to shake things up. Steal my dad's car and drive to Chicago or something. Sometimes. Though i reconsider because it's summer and dad's car has no air conditioning and it's a old heavy metal thing that he works on to feel better about getting old. It's ugly with no paint job and I can't even drive. So that idea is honestly no good.

So the party usually just hauls here. In Mike's basement staring at the ceiling wondering if we'll ever grow up or get outta this town. Dustin strolls in with this new stupid beanie and stupid look and I groan. 

"Are you still trying this whole stupid soft skater boy look bullshit."

"Lucas lay off him man, he's channeling his feminine side." 

"Fuck off... both of you"

And now I'm laughing and so is Mike and Dustin is laughing too and it's fun and I feel good again about being stuck. At least I'd be stuck with them. 

Dustin plops on the couch next to me and he shoves me a little and I shove him back and we both smile. Mike looks up from his phone and asks if we wanna go to the skate park and channel our inner soft boy. Dustin flicks him off and we settle into soft silence again.

Dustin starts talking about some family who's moving into that house the Porter's moved out of. The Porter's were pretty cool and they gave kids tangerines if they asked because they had a huge tree out front. They moved to Florida where old people go to sightsee and die and it's almost satisfying knowing that they might die together I think. Comfortable for them too, truly together untill the end.

I look again at Mike who has this deep frown on his face so I finally ask him what wrong. He just shrugs and mutters parents, says he heard them talking about splitting up when he woke up at night to pee. He turns his head away when he says that he doesn't want them to hate each other. To hate him. I have to get up and Pat his back cause it feels like it hurts. It feels like things are getting uncomfortable. Like the system is on the verge of breaking.

I know he wants to cry, I can feel it in the way his breaths get long and practiced. I just say it'll be okay. I assure him of things I don't know about because life promises no assurance but I can promise him things because friends don't lie and I wouldn't lie about it being okay. I don't.

Dustin says that maybe we can head to the arcade or the skate park or something and I tell him I didn't bring my board or my bike for that matter. I ask him how the fuck does he think we're gonna get all the way down to rosewood. He says that it's only like a mile and I tell him it's also fucking 1 million degrees outside. 

They both stare and it's a nagging feeling that makes me comply. I flick Mike in the back of his head and tell him to go and ask his mom. We all file out of the basement, heads tucked. It was weird that everyone had pretty much shot up. Mike especially. He was a fucking giant. 

I nudge Dustin while sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Mrs.Wheeler to let Mike go. I ask him if will is still trapped in fort knox and he laughs a sad laugh.

He whispers to me that he thinks Lonnie found out. At first the words don't register and it doesn't make sense. Then my throat closes up and I mutter expletives. I look at Dustin with this wild terror for my friend. He just nods and I look away because reality settles way too quick. I peek at Dustin but he has his beanie pulled over his head. I just pull out my phone and text will and tell him that if he can to meet us at the skate park.

Mike still hasn't come to the kitchen five minutes later and will hasn't texted me back and Dustin looks like he's asleep. Fuck.

Mike returns with sweats on and it looks like he brushed his hair but not really and he has on those fucking checkerboard vans that Dustin and him wear like religion. 

He grabs the back of Dustin's chair and tips it back and Dustin wakes up screaming cause he's falling, I catch him before he hits the ground and laugh.

"You guys let's go, it's already almost 1." I say in response to Dustin and Mike laughing and pushing each other.

 

So in capsize you would think that for an about a mile walk on mostly flat road with no actual traffic or streetlights for that matter would be more of a carefree venture, while you laugh and joke with your friends but you would be wrong because if you add in the element of oh I don't know 90 degree heat and a splash of humidity. It. Becomes. Hell. 

Dustin already had his board with him and we were at Mike's house so we have to swing by mine to actually get my board, which is extra time on a devil trip two dumbasses wanted to make. I start to say that we should go by will's and make sure he's alright or something. Though I think I forget because we're already a block away from the skate park and I don't mention his name.

The skate park is simple. Very simple.  
The only one on this side of Hawkins, So when you turn up to the only skate park in this tiny bumfuck town and you see a girl with about 5 foot of height on her and clothes way too big grinding the edge of the half pipe with practiced ease, you stare. You almost have too. Inhale a little of the culture, suck in some of the sights cause God knows we never get any. 

A devil with a skateboard and red hair to match, standing out like a burning pitch of fire in this black and white town. I think I almost fell over myself in love. Dustin followed my gaze and he laughed and laughed while patting my back basically pushing me. 

"Never gonna happen dude; not even if someone paid her."

"Have some faith in your boy."

"I could put Jesus in you and you still wouldn't be able to breathe near her."

Mike laughed and mumbled agreements. I flicked them off and grabbed my board. I tried to walk casually or a semblance to that affect. (Later on Max would tell me she thought I had a limp when she first saw me skulking towards her while two noodely dudes kind of cheered for me in the background.)

Those tentative steps. Those last three toward her made my heart pound with this stupid urgency and some part of me knew I would fall in love with her. Or all of me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what u think tee~~~

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what you think :)))))


End file.
